What Friends Are For
by WordsfromAshes
Summary: Rin never had friends growing up. He always did the protecting and did it alone so it's odd that these people-no, no they were friends-had his back and genuinely cared for him. And Rin liked it better this way. [Series of One-Shots]
1. Fatal Silence

**Edited: October 27, 2014**

Rin sank in his seat, lower and lower until he hopefully disappeared into absolute oblivion. Or at least until it didn't feel like everyone was boring holes into his back. He hadn't been able to move freely ever since the class started thirty minutes ago—someone was always pegging him with a stare.

He gritted his teeth and concentrated harder on the text that Shiemi read aloud surprisingly well next to him. Rin didn't know whether to be more impressed by the nerves of her or the guts of her to even sit next to him. After ignoring him for the past _two weeks_ outside of cram school she just sat next to him like everything was normal? Not only that, but sneak _glances_ at him? Any other time Rin would've celebrated that triumph, but now… now he just felt condemned by it all.

The tentative glances, the eyes on his back, the avoidance beside when they all studied together and even that was minimal now… it felt similar to when they all first found out about his heritage. He thought after that, that was all behind him. That everything would get better. But apparently not. His shoulders slumped and Shiemi faltered before continuing on in more uncertainty than before.

Rin sighed, a long uneven breath escaped from him and he enjoyed the feeling of his chest falling. He closed his eyes and leaned into the table.

He thought he heard sudden movement back somewhere to his right where Izumo sat but he couldn't be sure for Shiemi's just as sudden butchering of the verse was louder. Her words gasped and garbled before dying completely in what he could only assume was the end. He looked up at her, curious as to what happened to all that bravado. She ducked her head and sat down in an attention-grabbing clatter that only made her face grow redder.

"Uh yes, that was good Ms. Moriyama, but I suggest the utmost clarity and finishing the verse if you wish to actually rid yourself of a demon," their instructor said in what was obvious fake pleasantries. Her eyes shifted around the room looking for her next victim and that was the signal for Rin to plant his gaze back onto the open book in front of him. With all of the other shit going on the last thing he wanted to do was definitely butcher a verse out loud. He wasn't like the Old Man or Yukio or as much as it grudged him to admit, the Kyoto gang. He wasn't made to be an Aria—though it might help if he had actually sat down to study the passages assigned for today or have someone to study _with_, but that was beside the point.

And so he stuck his nose in his book to avoid eye contact with the instructor. If he couldn't see her then he hoped she didn't see him. The trick worked all throughout normal school growing up and so cram school should be no different—nevermind the pointed ears and teeth and his tail was tucked away, wrapped around his torso. His secret may be out but the instructors were all still Exorcists who more likely than not wanted him dead.

"Mr. Suguro, since Ms. Moriyama did not finish would you like to recite starting from the top?"

There was the definite sound of scrambling behind Rin, who felt confident enough to raise his head up now that he knew he would not be called on and looked behind him. Bon was needlessly flipping pages and his brows furrowed further with each flip. Wasn't it only months ago that the jerk claimed he had a photo-memory or whatever? "Uh, where are we?"

Rin blinked. Bon never lost composure.

Their instructor straightened up and disappointment spread across her face the more she frowned. "I said to recite Ms. Moriyama's passage. Maybe if you focused like… well, for once like Mr. Okumura here, and not space out, then you would have heard me."

Rin's ears twitched at his name being called out and his jaw dropped, exposing his sharp teeth, when he realized his name was announced in a positive light. On instincts he shot a grin back at Bon just like they usually did to annoy each other before realizing that they might not be on that level of friendship anymore.

"Uh, right. Sorry," Bon said flustered in a way that Rin would have teased him on a better day. Instead Rin zoned out as the Aria-in-training droned on and on. This was why he didn't bother to study it. It was so long he'd never remember it. And so his thoughts fell to more important things such as Shiemi unabashedly staring at him and how they barely hung out with him outside of class.

His grip on the edge of the table tightened at that very thought of losing his friends for a second time. The bones of his knuckles became defined, the skin taut and white against them.

Bon stammered once he reached the part Shiemi stopped at. His tongue and teeth caught over a string of words he just could not get out. Rin looked back in confusion only to see Bon quickly look away and stare at the front of the classroom instead.

Bon had been staring at him, but why. If they didn't want to associate with him then why bother staring? Were they waiting for him to lash out? Rin laid across the tabletop and glared at the nothing in front of him. His tail that coiled around his torso loosened enough for it to visibly twitch and shift in agitation.

The harsh sound of wood scraping against the floor came from right behind him as both Izumo and Shima stood up and Bon's verse stopped immediately. Rin's face was blank at the odd reactions from everyone and glad when the instructor relieved the attention from him. "That's _enough_. I don't know what has gotten into you all but if you keep this up I'll find a way to send you back to Page level classes. Now I think that's enough class time for today but to make up for all the disruptions I'll be assigning you double the homework."

Rin was glad one thing hadn't changed yet and it was their collective hatred of extra work. He joined the rest of the class in a chorus of groans.

"Rin, are you okay?" Shiemi said as soon as the door closed and they were left alone in silence. Nee crept off her shoulder, readying itself if it should be needed. Rin hugged his arms tighter around him and ignored them.

"What's the matter with you, Okumura," Bon demanded from the back of the class.

Rin shook his head, his fingers dug into the sleeves of his jacket. Even with the layers of fabric, he could feel the faint biting of nails in skin. "Me? What's the matter with _me_?" His smile was hollow like the coughing sound of his laugh. "What about all of _you_? You've been staring at me but you won't even hang out with me."

There was a loud sigh from Izumo, an apology from Shiemi, and a nervous "I told you all he'd take it the wrong way" from Konekomaru.

Shiemi nodded and went to grab his hand but didn't. "We've been studying."

"No. You're not."

Izumo rolled her eyes and crossed her arms on the desk before leaning forward. "Yes. We are. Last I remember you aren't there to tell us that we are and aren't doing, now are you?" She sent a smug grin at him telling him to even try to challenge her.

"Kamiki," Bon growled from across the room.

"What? What is going on then?" Rin argued through clenched teeth. They were lying. They were covering something up and not telling him what they really thought. That he was a demon and they once again couldn't be friends. _If_ they were even friends in the first place.

"You weren't there during the Exwire exam when Konekomaru and Bon recited 21 chapters because they didn't know what was the fatal verse for ghouls were," Shima said leaning forward on his desk behind Rin himself .

"What?"

"We've been studying our verses and sutras; trying to memorize what goes with what demons," Konekomaru said. "If you had been there and your verse could have been somewhere in there… in any of the times we take guesses."

Shima nodded lazily and reached forward so his hand ruffled Rin's already messy hair. "It's absolute terrible work, but we don't want to take our chances. Gotta make sure we aren't saying the wrong thing around our little Son of Satan."

Rin's own mind was trying to wrap around the bigger idea. He thought he knew what they were saying but… but that couldn't be it. "So…?" He drawled and tried not to sound too hopeful for his own good. His tail slipped out from under his shirt.

When Bon opened his mouth, it wasn't an insult but rather a gruff agreement. "We can't accidentally kill you because we haven't been taking our studies as serious as we should. I figure we can't pass and be Exorcists if we managed to unwittingly kill a comrade," the taller boy said with all facts and logistics, swatting away at any emotional ties to the issue.

It didn't fool Rin. Rin, who instead of feeling the stinging reminder that the Vatican wanted him dead and would congratulate his—well, his friends—for their accomplishment felt instead the stinging at the corner of his eyes. They weren't condemning him, they were watching out for him. Literally and figuratively watching his back and… and…

"You guys don't have to… I'm fine… I mean…" The words failed to even reach the tip of Rin's tongue. He didn't know what to say, what to even do. Here he was… well here he had been assuming the worst out of his friends, thinking they hated him for whatever reason. And they were only showing how much they cared. They _cared. _

The others shared a look and a few nodded. "Of course we do," Shiemi said and finally grabbed one of his hands with both of hers. They were soft despite all her gardening.

"We wouldn't be that great of friends if we let something happen to you, now would we?" Konekomaru said.

Rin swallowed the lump of unsaid words down his throat and turned around in his seat before the tears actually got past his eyes and slid down his cheek. "Thank you," he whispered so that Shiemi could barely hear, let alone the rest of them. "Thank you," he repeated and swiped at a runaway tear. Blinking several times he looked up and around at all his friends, a teary smile on his face. His tail swished behind him, too happy to stay still. They all returned their own various smiles—or what passed as smiles in some cases.

"Next time, just don't be jerks about it," Rin said with a laugh because the only other option would be to cry.

"_Jerks_?" Bon's seat was thrown back and his fists slammed the table. "All that and we get called jerks? Oh, I'll show you a real…"

Yeah, things were already better, Rin thought and stood up himself.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**I really just like the concept of their friendship and how they all fit together in each other's lives. How unfamiliar it can be for Rin to have people protecting him instead of him solely protecting others.**

**What you just read and everything else you may read is not my intellectual property.**


	2. Human Shield

Last Edited: October 29, 2014

The ground was rough, dirty, and still a little damp from the previous rain, but Rin didn't care because his sides were aching. They were killing him and his arms wrapped around his torso, his fingers dug into his side to subdue the stitches that grew there.

"Oi, knock it off," Bon grumbled.

Rin shook his head. Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes as he allowed himself to roll out of the fetal position and onto his back. It popped and the left side of his cheek felt vaguely like rugburn—already healing scrapes from falling and wiggling against the rocky pavement. His lungs burned in his chest from lack of oxygen, but—but he couldn't stop la-

"Okumura!"

Rin stopped as his name tore through the air. His arms unfurled from around him and he propped himself up on his elbows. He looked up and immediately bit his lip; one of his canines broke the skin. His voice was tight and unstable when he spoke. "So—So what happened to you?"

Bon, Shima, and even Konekomaru towered over him with Bon holding the largest presence. Arms crossed, brows furrowed and—and—another bout of laughter temporarily handicapped Rin.

"It's not that funny," Bon barked at him, his scowl deepening into ravines. He glanced around. "And you're making a scene."

"It is _kinda_ funny," Shima corrected from behind his hand that lightly covered his mouth. Seeing that, Rin's own smile cracked wider and he immediately pointed at the pink-headed boy in what he meant as a 'See? See? Someone else agrees with me' gesture.

Bon ignored them both except for a low growl of "Renzo" while Konekomaru picked up everyone else's attentions with a dry, "Uh, Bon, I think you're causing just as much of a scene."

Rin laughed when Bon pinched the bridge of his nose and shouted at the shortest boy that he wasn't making any scene. Rin could see the flush of his cheeks at being the center of attention as people stopped and slowed down around them, confused and disapproving looks thrown their way from every angle. It wasn't the heaviest trafficked street, but busy enough. Rin gestured to the surroundings with a lazy flourish of his hand, all weight carried by his stabilized right arm. "Your face is enough to cause a scene," Rin said with a laugh.

When there was no rebuttal, Rin sat up completely before he swung himself up on two feet with a surprising amount of momentum. He took two steps closer to Bon and—grudgingly—stood on his tip-toes to inspect the boy's face, appraising the bruises that stained it. They became a conglomerate of bruises—one large ugly bruise, well, uglier than what Bon's face already was, Rin thought—centered around Bon's right eye. Or the poor excuse for an eye that was a slit between swollen skin. "So what happened again?"

He received no answer besides Bon's hand palming Rin's face and shoving him away. Rin laughed as he stumbled back several steps before he regained his balance. He swiped away his bangs that fell in his eyes.

"Nothing."

"Doesn't look like a whole lotta nothing," Rin said bluntly and took a chance in attempting to poke an area of light bruising only to have his hand swatted away.

"Well it is," was overridden by "Bon got into a fight."

"_Shima._"

Rin's jaw hung wide open. His eyes flickered from the unashamed Shima, to obviously but always angry looking Bon, and to Konekomaru just in time to catch his eye roll. Rin continued the pattern waiting for one of them to step up and exclaim "Ha-ha! Fooled you!" but none did. "So wait. You're telling me Bon—_Bon. _The guy who's all art thou holier and better than you—got into a _fight_?" Rin was the only person he knew to push Bon's buttons just right to get Bon to the point of breaking, but not even their fights were this bad. Not even at the beginning.

"It's _nothing_. Isn't that right, Shima?" Bon said heavily.

Konekomaru shifted and bumped his glasses up the bridge of his nose with the back of his hand. "You should see the other guy," he said with a small yet wry smile. That caused a yell of laughter from Rin. He threw his head back and grabbed his stomach and sides again.

"—of you idiots know what 'keep your mouths shut' even mean?" Rin heard, catching the end of Bon's disagreement delivered to his two friends that finally looked sheepish.

"How _did_ the other guy come out?"

"Awful," Shima responded immediately with a wicked grin.

Konekomaru nodded in agreement. "He got a lucky shot on Bon."

And despite not wanting any of this information leaked, Bon looked rather pleased at himself over that. He grumbled something along the lines of blaming the lucky shot—or two, Rin had a feeling there had to be at least a second "lucky" shot in there somewhere but he didn't feel like being punched himself so said nothing—on Shima and Konekomaru distracting him or whatever.

Rin wasn't interested in that part of the whole affair though. "So who was it? The guy you got into a fight with."

"Y'don't need to clarify, idiot. I know who you're talking about."

"Well_ I_ don't know who _you're_ talking about," Rin whined just like he would when he was younger and Father Fujimoto would say something that should've made sense, but didn't. "I want to congratulate the guy who gave you that." Rin laughed, expecting Bon to react in good humor.

"_No_. It's none of your business, Okumura. Just drop it and… don't you have somewhere to be anyway," Bon said harsh enough that it threw Rin off completely. He froze, not prepared for the coldness when expecting their warm banter. Bon froze as well and for the first time since Rin ran into the group, Bon's entire frame relaxed. His shoulders drooped, his arms fell, and his face didn't look _as_ angry.

Shima offered Rin a sheepish grin as he rubbed the back of his neck. "It's nothing to worry about. Just some annoying guy in our dorm. You know how Bon gets. Koneko and I weren't there in time to stop his little temper tantrum. Heh-heh."

Rin gave an absentminded nod at Shima's words, but acknowledged him no further than that. His still wide eyes were stuck on Bon who looked—well, Rin didn't know how to peg the other boy. Mad wasn't exactly it. He was mad, but it wasn't at Rin. At least, he didn't think so. He hoped Bon wasn't entirely mad at him. Rin didn't want to cross into that territory, or trespass any further into it if he already crossed the line into that territory. He nodded again and swallowed. "Uh, yeah. Well, you might want Shiemi to look at that. Sure she can fix you up I bet." He paused and couldn't take the silence, no matter how short. "I better go. I told Yukio and Kuro I'd be back with stuff for dinner already and well… yeah, I'll see you guys tomorrow?"

He got a chorus of agreement from the other three before he produced a grin, waved, and went on his way towards the market, hoping that tomorrow wouldn't show the awkwardness of the evening.

-.-.-.-

"You didn't have to be so rough on him, Bon," Shima drawled out as they watched Rin pick up his pace and maneuver around people. Some still gave wary looks to him and even more still gave odd looks to the three of them. Bon didn't care. They stayed there until Rin turned a corner out of sight and then slowly made their way through the streets.

Bon scowled at the blame settling on him, which only worsened his mood when the motion pulled on sore muscles in his face. The bruises ached in an ever present way that grew uncomfortable after so long. "And neither of you had to add your two cents about it. I told'ja to say nothing 'bout the fight to him."

"But, don't you think Rin sort of has the right to know?"

"No."

"But Bon—" Konekomaru cut himself off. Bon didn't welcome the uncomfortable silence.

Another frown and another throb of pain. On reflex his hand shot up to touch the pain, gently pressing on the not-as-swollen edge. The only sign he was even in a fight. It hadn't been a lucky shot as much as it was a cheap shot. Shima and Neko distracted him by mistake when they entered the scene and the damn bastard took advantage of it. It was still better than a broken nose and whatever else the other guy had. Bon didn't stick around long enough to see the full product.

He wouldn't lie. It felt good to finally punch the ass after all those times of wanting to but just putting up with him. It's not like they had even lied really. The guy _was_ an annoying bastard that lived in their dorm. Reiji or something like that. Shaggy white hair, piercing between the eyes, a cocky-ass smirk, always flaunting his money about this way or that—a real prick if Bon ever saw one. The guy always rubbed him the wrong way especially after the guy found out Bon was there on a scholarship. When he compared Bon to another charity case of the younger Okumura, a red flag went up. There was history. And if one of the twins was involved then the other had to be as well. Probably more involved even.

"Still can't believe you punched him because of _Rin_. If I didn't know you better, I'd say you're going soft," Shima noted dully. "Is that why you didn't want him to know? 'Cause Big Bad Bon is going soft?" Shima poked Bon's side repeatedly.

Bon snorted. He deflected Shima's next poke. "I'm not goin' soft. He annoys me is all." He paused. The prick also had no right to be telling people that Rin was a crazy demon even if others didn't take it literally. He had no right to tell them to stay away from him. Bon knew what it was like on the other side of that and didn't want Okumura to experience any more of it.


	3. Familiar Help

Candles burned in every corner of the room and flashlights pointed into the niches that the candles' lights could not reach. Rin found his fellow Exwires clustered in the center of it all underneath the brightest fluorescent light the room could offer. The room itself was in complete shambles, even more so than the first day of lessons with the temptaints.

Several of them nodded to him when he walked in and closed the door.

"So why did you want to meet here?" Izumo demanded, disgusted, and flicked a coal tar that floated too close to her face. It slid through the air just to bounce off another one not too far away. The entire room was infested with them.

"They wouldn't think to look here," Rin said. That didn't stop him from securing the lock on the door. He'd rather take his chances with the hobgoblins in the room than a stray Exorcist entering. His arm immediately returned to cradling Kuro in his arms. It was an unfamiliar mode of transportation. Rin was used to wearing Kuro as a hat or scarf, not a dead we—no, no, just a weight in his arms.

Shiemi stood up from the desk she sat at. "Are you okay? It looks like something is bothering you." Nii-chan fluttered off her shoulder, squeaking its own version of worry.

Rin ignored it and took a couple steps into the middle of the room. His arms tightened around Kuro. The familiar didn't protest to the extra demon strength that seeped into Rin's grip, rather it pushed itself against Rin's body. Silent. Kuro barely said a thing since told the news. It took Rin a while to realize it was more for Rin's sake than Kuro's. Which was fine. Rin didn't know what to say anyway. He didn't even want to think about it right now.

He ignored Shiemi's concerns and brought Kuro up closer so its body sat on top of his speeding heart. "Remember how I had six months? An—"

"They gave an extension. They can't do that," Shima cried and looked back and forth between Rin and everyone else. "They can't do anything, can they? Right?" His voice broke off into a whisper, turned to Bon as if he would know.

It sent a small smile to Rin's lips that lasted for a single pulse. Even then it was strained, not a real smile, and fell flat immediately. They cared. They cared for him and so maybe they _would_ care about all this. "For me. They gave an extension for me, but I guess—I guess—"

_**It's okay, Rin. **_Kuro attempted to be comforting but it just made his grip tighter and his eyes sting. He regained his composure and continued with his stupid plan. "I think—no, I know—they, they want to get back at me. If they can't have me dead then, then—just, can one of you look after Kuro? Keep Kuro safe? Please."

Konekomaru moved forward and was stroking the cat between the horns. Each stroke left a faint vibration of a purr that combatted Rin's heartbeat. It told him to calm down, but he couldn't. Rin was never known for being exactly calm.

"I'm not following," Shima stage whispered to the others. "Is anyone else?"

"Rin, what's going on? You have to explain or else we can't help," Shiemi's eyes gleamed under the lights.

"They say that Kuro is a threat to the public and are going to try to kill him." He wasn't going to cry. Rin cried it all out already. Multiple times. He wouldn't cry in front of his friends and in front of Kuro. He bit his lip. "Or whatever they can since they don't know a Cat Sidhe's verse. And Kuro is strong, but I—we—I can't just hand Kuro over to them. It wouldn't be fair. And so I wanted to hide him. Could one of you keep him until… until I don't know." Rin's breathing quickened into short puffs that didn't fill his lungs. His eyes flickered to each person in the room who all stood there, jaws open and eyes wide in shock. He tried to ignore the quiet plea of his name from Kuro that sounded more like "Stop, it'll be okay" than his name. "Please?"

Konekomaru's movements stopped and he tilted his head. Rin stared hopefully at the smaller boy, hoping that his affinity for cats would make him agree. He opened his mouth with what Rin thought was a definite yes, only to hear a condemning "No."

Rin couldn't process the words. Kuro's tails twitched before falling limp, optimism finally running out, Rin thought bitterly.

"Oh."

_**Rin, we'll find a way. If anyone can, it's you.**_

They wouldn't, but Rin would keep that failure to himself for now. If these people he began to see as friends wouldn't help then there wasn't much else he could do. He didn't realize how much faith he put into them already.

"I don't know what disgusts me more," Izumo said finally with crossed arms. Any sign of the news concealed behind her frown and narrowed eyes. "Miwa saying 'No' or Okumura just giving up. Your familiar deserves better than that. I'm training to be a Tamer, give it to me."

Rin stared at the cobbled floor. He could still make out some blood stains on it that couldn't be scrubbed out. But that was pushed aside quite easily by Izumo's words. Kuro did deserve better. If Rin just wouldn't have gotten involved with the Cat Sidhe then maybe Kuro would still be alive. Or would've become Yukio's familiar instead. This wouldn't have happened to Yukio. If Rin just wouldn't have screwed up from the very start then Kuro would still have Father Fujimoto. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before thrusting a dangling cat out in his hands, offering the now whining Kuro— _**But you aren't bad, Rin! I'm glad to have you as a friend! I want you!**_—to the not-yet-Tamer. "Okay."

"For the love of-stop the pity party, Okumura," Bon growled from his position on top of a table, sitting cross-legged as if previously chanting before Rin had entered. He then nodded to the other boy. "What's the deal, Konekomaru?"

Rin's ears twitched at this and he tried to refrain from stepping away from the others on instinct. Deal? Deals are why he came to his friends instead of going to Mephisto. Mephisto could have helped easily in some complicated way or another, but he'd try create a deal that would leave Rin with the short stick of the draw. But deals always meant a way. Rin's eyes flickered with a phantom of blue flames, not from anger but the slim chance of happiness.

Rin couldn't take his eyes off Konekomaru and watched the boy give a polite nod to his friend before turning back to Rin. "As much as any of us would like to take Kuro for you, we can't. If whenever they try to collect Kuro and can't find him, they'll search for him. We will be the first people they turn to as conventional suspects. Plus Kamiki is right—Kuro _does_ deserve better than being hidden for the rest of eternity, don't you think? Besides neither of you would be happy with that," Konekomaru smiled and placed a warm hand on Rin's forearm. Kuro's tails started waving in his arms again. "Don't worry, Rin, Kuro's not going anywhere."

-.-.-.-

"You are insane. This is your plan? _This_?" Rin whispered frantically even though Konekomaru had long since stopped listening to his desperate worries. He pulled Kuro off of his shoulder to crush the familiar in his arms again. It was a growing habit the past week or so and he was glad that none of the others nor Kuro brought up how his familiar practically turned into a stuffed animal.

Shima grimaced next to him after Izumo yanked on his tie. Something about him flirting while she helped straighten out his appearance, at least Rin thought that was what it was. It usually was. He couldn't really focus on anything else. "It seems really stupid and like it might not work," Shima started and squeaked as Izumo gave a long scolding stare at him and her fist had a good chunk of tie wrapped around it.

Rin felt his heart freeze to a stop in his chest before it began a long fall into his stomach.

"Would you _stop that_?" Shima croaked at Izumo and rubbed his neck once she let go. Then he gave a not so apologetic smile to Rin. "But if there is one thing you learn growing up with Koneko, it's to trust his ideas. Have a little faith in him."

Rin gave a shallow nod but wasn't sure how much faith he could put into Konekomaru with this. His throat felt like it closed and he hoped Izumo didn't yank on his tie like Shima's as she moved onto him. She didn't say anything to him but gave a tight-lipped look that Rin had learned over time meant everything should be okay. "Just don't show your flames and tuck your tail away," she said and smoothed out one of his lapels in a quick no-nonsense way. She began to walk away but stopped and reached for Kuro. "And don't hold it. They might think you're detaining it."

He didn't let go. Not until a soft nudge in his mind from Kuro telling him it was fine did he hesitantly loosen his hold. Izumo picked Kuro up under his front legs so that his entire body dangled and Rin was glad when she re-placed the familiar back onto his shoulder. He was even more relieved that he hadn't given Kuro up to Izumo's safe keeping after all.

Rin grabbed his tail and stuffed it down the back of his pants. His mind too jumpy to wrap it around his torso.

"The Vatican is ready to see you now," an Exorcist said coldly but not as cold as the look given to Rin and Kuro.

And Rin went rigid. A large hand clamped down on his free shoulder. Bon. "We know you love Kuro 'n' all, but if you don't relax you're goin' to fail him."

Rin nodded slightly once again. The others lined up around him and faced the large closed doors that would open up to their fate. If it wasn't for the fact that Rin had been beyond useless for the past week and he knew Konekomaru was trying his best to help him, he could've killed the other boy. Or rather, he would've run from this hall by now. Maybe that's why Bon's hand still hadn't moved from his shoulder and Shiemi stood so close to his other side. They were all being so strong for him, all so collected even though they hated Vatican just as much as he did. He had to calm down and collect himself, if not for himself, then for Kuro and his friends.

_**Rin?**_

He tilted his head to the side in order to catch one last—no, he refused for it to be the last—look at Kuro perched on his shoulder. "We'll get through this, Kuro. I won't fail you," he whispered for the Cat Sidhe to hear.

_**I know you won't! **_Kuro chirped and Rin felt motion return to his entire being. He gave a small smile and butted the side of his head with Kuro's. _**You're like Shiro! **_

Rin had no time to sort out that comment aside from the initial shock before Bon pushed him toward the opening doors. They moved into the hall as a team. Kuro, despite trying to stay optimistic, lowered his head and tried to shrink in size on Rin's shoulder.

The judge sat at his raised podium, and the Grigori were lined up.

"I understand Konekomaru Miwa has requested this showing on his own merit," the judge said and leaned over to stare down at them. Intimidation factor. He wasn't the one in the room that intimidated Rin the most though—he refused to look at where Angel stood, knowing the Paladin would have a smug look about him.

Konekomaru took a step forward on the platform they all stood on. "Ah yes, that'd be me… sir."

"For a case concerning only Rin Okumura about the predetermined extermination of his so-called Cat Sidhe familiar?" The judge raised a single brow.

"Yes, er, no. It doesn't only concern Rin Okumura, Your Honor," Konekomaru stumbled over his words and bowed ever so slightly in respect that he gave only for show. "As Okumura's fellow Exwire's we work close together on the field and depend on each other's strengths and weaknesses. Kuro has become a part of this team and therefore involves all of us here today."

"Kuro?"

"It's his name! Kuro is his name!" Rin said and immediately regretted it when all eyes turned on him. He heard a nervous groan from Shima in front of him. Konekomaru was supposed to be the only speaker due to his even temper, everyone else being backup. Rin was supposed to stay as low as possible during the showing until he was absolutely needed to speak. Rudely correcting a higher up was definitely not one of those moments. Rin cringed and closed his eyes, hoping everyone would just continue on.

"I see," the judge continued with a bit of hesitance. "Do you understand the situation in its entirety, Mr. Miwa?"

Rin did not open his eyes just yet. Nor did he open his mouth to scream that there was no situation beyond the prejudice against him.

"We do, sir. But if you wouldn't mind clarifying the problem, we would all appreciate it."

The judge cleared his throat and there was a soft shuffle of papers being rearranged. "It has come to our attention from an unidentified source that there is no contract between Mr. Okumura and the 'familiar'. This of course leads to the concern that there is no control over the demon and previous reports state that this particular Cat Sidhe is higher ranking and could not be brought down by a number of Exorcists. It is also reported to be unstable, uncontrollable, and an all-around threat to the general public. Safety measures must be taken for these measures."

Rin opened his eyes and found Angel at once. Unidentified, his ass. Next to him Bon strung together several curses under his breath so low that Rin barely knew where one swore stopped and another started. Even if it wasn't that smug asshole, it was someone in the room. Maybe one of the many Exorcists that lined the wall, waiting for one wrong move on Rin's part.

Rin refrained from reaching up and stroking Kuro between the horns to calm him down. He didn't want to give anyone the thought that he was preparing to attack. Their group was quiet other than that, trying to collect and sort what to say and do. Rin was just happy that he didn't have to speak for himself, alone. No words formed a decent argument to present in his mind.

"Kuro was under a contract. Bound by the prior Paladin, Shiro Fujimoto, to guard entrance to True Cross. There were no documented cases of Kuro losing control after becoming Fujimoto's familiar."

"_Was_," a Grigori said heavily. "After transferring to Rin Okumura for a master, there has been no contract and the prior contract has been nullified."

Konekomaru looked back at Rin and then turned back to the overseeing panel. "If there is no contract then would it not solve everything to just create a contract between the tamer and familiar then? It would solve most if not all of the concerns."

"It still does not clear the fact that he has a high level Cat Sidhe as a familiar. It is too strong for someone of… his background," one of the Grigori stated coolly.

"He didn't summon Kuro," Konekomaru started to explain.

There was a nod from another Grigori. "And it is a good thing he did not. But a contract between a summoner and familiar is more trusted due to the connection between the two. And that is why a contr—"

Izumo muttered something to herself and stepped up, her steps echoed in the large hall and she shoved Konekomaru off to the side so that he caught his balance from one of the rails. "I _summoned_ my two familiars and they don't listen to me most of the time. Rin helped control them when I lost control. If you say that he has no control over Kuro and are punishing him for that then you might as well exterminate my familiars as well." She reached into her jacket and Rin caught an Exorcist reach for their belt—a Dragoon. Izumo held the small square paper with the summoning circle inked onto it for all to see. "Control? We're Exwires. We don't always have perfect control. If you're so worried about control then teach him a second Meister in Taming."

There was a short laugh from Angel. "What? Teaching a demon to summon more demons? Of course we won't allow that."

"I'll teach him," Shiemi spoke suddenly, her voice too light and kind for their environment, but confident. Rin stopped himself from asking her if she was serious, but watched as Shima stood off to the side so she could take a small step forward. Izumo turned around and gave an incredulous look at Shiemi. "I'm training to be a Tamer as well. If you won't allow him to train as one, then I'll help him."

"We cannot allow that. Informal training. It's illegal and he has not listed it as a Meister," Angel argued, staring up at the Grigori.

"This isn't about his familiar at all. It's about Rin. You all say he's dangerous and yet do nothing to teach him to make him safer. _You_—"

"Kamiki!" Bon said and shook his head once the girl turned around again, still annoyed. A scowl was the last thing Rin saw on her face before she turned back around. She said nothing and then "Take that into consideration." She held no tact like Konekomaru and did nothing to hide her distaste. She stepped back, summoning circles still clutched in her hands. Rin was shocked, he knew Izumo had a temper, but to show her simmering dislike towards people with so much power was not her usual style. She was more passive aggressive.

No one made a confirmation that they took note of what she said. Instead all eyes turned once again to Rin.

"Your Honor," Konekomaru started even an even more polite tone to make up for Izumo's burst, but he was immediately shut down.

"As nice as that is, it still does not solve the problem of the unstable tendencies of the Cat Sidhe as shown through the case on—"

"But Rin was the—"

_**I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to!**_ Kuro mewled over and over. _**Shiro died and—**_

"Stop!" Konekomaru stumbled through silent words. His lips continued to move for several syllables but no sound came out. No one else spoke, not even Kuro. They just all turned to face Rin who clenched his fists at his side and shrugged Bon's hand off when he squeezed his shoulder. He appreciated all these gestures, really, Rin did. But they were all risking their good graces of the Vatican just for him and he couldn't stand back and watch as his friends potentially ruined their careers and future.

Now that everyone's stunned attention was on him finally, he didn't know what to say. He wasn't as good with words as everyone else. "I—I found Kuro after he found out Fath—Shiro Fujimoto died. A guard let the news slip and no one comforted Kuro about it or explained it to him." Rin gulped and only continued once Kuro bumped into his cheek. "It's true that a team of Exorcists couldn't take Kuro down, but—but I was. I could he—" Rin stopped short. Letting the Vatican know he could understand demons wouldn't help his case right now. Or ever for that matter. He still got odd looks from his friends when they were caught off guard by conversations between Rin and Kuro. "I could uh, I calmed him down. He responds well to me and hasn't been an incident since. I—I think you can find that in your reports?" His palms were slick with sweat at this point and his voice made his valid argument seem full of holes. Shima gave an uncertain look to him that told him to shut up.

"I see," the judge said quietly, gaze unwavering.

"You don't know how to control Kuro! But... but he responds to me just like… just like he did to Fujimoto. Don't—don't take it out on Kuro for whatever problems you have with me." His stance widened, daring them to object even though his mind was still a whirlwind of anything but confidence. He had to be strong. He couldn't fail. Not for Kuro, or his friends, or... or Father Fujimoto.

"And the rest of you?"

"We wouldn't be here if we didn't think Kuro is fine to this 'general public' you speak of," Bon said, louder than everyone else and patience already thin. "Like Konekomaru said, Kuro is part of the team and has saved our lives. The thing's harmless. Much more harmless than having an instructor summon High Level ghouls to attack students and endanger their lives with." Bon's tone was as dangerous as fluid from a ghoul. He tilted his chin up, challenging them as well.

Shima nodded which prompted the others to agree. While Rin heard his fellow Exwires confirm what Bon said, he watched as everyone else bent down whispering, alarmed at the news of Neuhaus. Finally after what seemed like forever, the whispering died down and all their expressions looked angered.

Rin gulped.

"We will still be keeping an eye on you and this thing of yours," the third Grigori stated curtly. "More than usual. Don't forget about that."

"Or your new deadline," another said.

"You are not exactly cleared, but there are other... _matters _to look into. May you all know that you are all considered applicable to any of the consequences if anything should go wrong and will all suffer the punishments," the first Grigori said solemnly.

Bon snorted at the threat.

"Now go."

Rin knew all of this and at this point he didn't care, because nothing seemed real as the group was escorted silently and efficiently out the door. Once closed, Shiemi turned and hugged him. It threw him off balance and he would've fallen completely if not for falling into Bon's side. The other boy gave a halfhearted gripe and stabilized Rin back onto his two feet before clapping him on his back in congratulations.

It was all a daze though. Even Kuro's jubilation as he licked Rin's face over and over so that Rin had to shut his right eye. _**Rin! Rin! I told you it'd be okay! **_His familiar chimed between licks. _**Thank you! Thank you, Rin. I knew you were the best.**_

Rin didn't shake his head despite not agreeing with Kuro. He wasn't the best. This wasn't his doing. He just smiled and was happy when Kuro cleaned his face of a stray tear that crept out of the corner of his eye and paused confused. _**Rin?**_

"'M just happy, is all," Rin mumbled and laughed awkwardly under all the attention. And then everything hit him at once. "We did it." They let him go for as much as they'd let a spawn of Satan off. He didn't expect it so go so... well like that. "We did it! We did it!" Rin laughed and bounced on the balls of his feet despite still being in the center of everyone. His chant stopped when he saw Konekomaru. "_You_ did it. 'Neko, you're the best. I'm never going to question your plans again!"

"I told you! They seem stupid but they work!"

Rin reached out and grabbed Konekomaru who stood out towards the side of the little group. "Thank you," Rin said. And then saw Izumo and repeated the sentiments. Izumo shrugged it off and shoved her summoning papers back into her jacket pocket, but he knew it mattered more than she let on.

Kuro paused on Rin's shoulder before leaping onto Konekomaru's to give him a solid licking. "Kuro says thank you, too."

Konekomaru blushed and kicked at the ground. "It was nothing. Anyone would've," he mumbled. But Rin knew that wasn't true. Konekomaru himself wouldn't have done that immediately following the camp training session.

_**We should go play. Or make dinner! What about Silver Vine?**_Kuro jumped from Konekomaru, onto Shiemi and finally resting on top of Rin's head where it felt like everything was back to normal. _**What do you say?**_

"Sounds good," Rin said and looked around him. Kuro wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for all of them. Rin never would've been able to walk into that hall without them or ask for a showing. He couldn't just go back home alone and celebrate without them now. He grinned knowing the answers to come. "Who wants dinner?"

**.**

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**This wasn't part of the three I was simultaneously writing before and with work and all it took longer to get out. I'm also sorry for the heavy-handedness of it all? I just wanted something to highlight Kuro and this kinda snowballed, but I hope you enjoyed it because I'm still so-so about it. I swear the next one will be much lighter. **

**To those who review and I don't respond to: I appreciate each review. I just get all happy that people like my writing, don't know what to say, and then find that too much time has lapsed for it not to be awkward to respond or just forget to respond. But I do love reading the reviews and they really help.**


	4. Restless Guilt

**Lasted Edited: October 30, 2014**

"Long day?" Paku said.

Izumo ignored her. The door slammed shut. She dropped her bag. She collapsed on her bed. The sturdy frame rattled from the force. She responded by immediately throwing her arms up about her face, blocking out anything and everything including the light. Her muscles ached at the motion. Her entire shoulder felt like a spark ran through it.

"Izumo?"

One arm moved to make an airway by her nose. Maybe she should have showered before lying in her clean bed. Still no answer. Long day didn't even describe it. The disastrous mission could not be summed into words. Not that she could tell Paku about it. It was never out rightly said, but Izumo knew her friend did not want detailed updates about the life she left behind. And Izumo, for as mean as she could be, did not want to willingly put her best friend through that. So they spoke of it in ambiguous ways.

"Yeah."

Plus, she didn't want to talk about today.

"Oh, okay."

It worked better that way for both of them.

Izumo bit her tongue wondering whether she should've asked Paku about her day. Too much time passed for it not to be awkward. Instead she listened to the sound of pencil on paper, each stroke distinct and loud against the desk, finishing homework for a class that didn't concern demons.

"Izumo?"

"How was your day?" Izumo responded immediately in a clatter of syllables. She was too tired to wince at her readiness.

"Oh! It was… it was okay. Just studying for that test tomorrow,"—Izumo closed her eyes under her arms at the reminder of the stresses of normal life that would resume—"Are you sure you're okay?"

She wasn't. She was tired, no, exhausted. Even with the spare dress shirt on, she felt dirty. She didn't study like she wanted to. And she was neglecting Paku. _And_ her teammate was hurt.

She rolled over onto her side, back to the other girl. "Yeah, everything's fine. Just, I'm going to bed. You're fine. Don't wake me."

Paku made a small affirmative noise and went back to working.

Izumo stared at the white wall her bed sat against, not sleeping. None of them had to go to the hospital, just treatments from Mr. Okumura with Shiemi acting as his assistant here and there. Izumo was sent off to sleep after a heavy layer of aloe was rubbed into her shoulder and bandages wound a bit too tight for her liking. It still hurt. She denied that fact to any of the others.

She wanted to sleep, she did. Maybe in the morning when the burns would be more tolerable, she might be more sensible and back to her normal self. And by tomorrow she wouldn't be as guilt—something soft fell on top of her and instead of jumping up for the ready, she flinched as it hit her shoulder. A blanket. Paku pulled a blanket over her.

Izumo felt worse than she already did. Completely useless. She thought she outgrew that phase. If not by a lot then by at least by some since the Exwire exam. Instead she flinched and left her back wide open and required Rin to compensate for her _again_.

She couldn't sleep while everyone else was doing _something_.

Everyone else was taking unnecessary shifts watching Rin; making sure he didn't do anything stupid even while unconscious. Bon and Shima carried him asleep after he collapsed from exhaustion on their way back. Izumo kept to the back of the group and watched, trailing off alone. Useless. Again.

That's why they sent her back to her dorm. She knew that even when Mr. Okumura said it was so she'd feel more relaxed after the stress of what happened to her—"It'll speed up your recovery" her ass.

Her legs curled up and her eyes closed despite the ghostly blue flames behind them.

-.-.-.-

She wasn't truly asleep when the shrill beeping pierced her every sense. Her eyes shot open at the sound. It was still dark out the window. Paku still occupied her desk studying and stared at her as she acted immediately.

No flinching, just movement. Izumo rolled out of bed. Blanket flung to the floor as she leapt to her bag dropped by the door. Her shoulder flared with pain at hitting the edge of the bed but that didn't matter because that was her phone. She had been difficult and demanded them to call if anything happened—if they screwed up because she had to pretend they weren't competent to care for Rin on their own. Fingers fumbled throughout the bag, not remembering where she placed it in her tiredness. It kept beeping. If it wasn't important they would have hung up.

In fact, they never would've called her unless something truly terrible happened. They didn't need her and—

Her fingers finally curled around the buzzing, beeping phone. Without looking she pushed it against her ear.

"What happened," Her voice jumped. Too anxious. Making a face to the wall she crouched in front of, she started again with more edge to her tone. "Wh-what did you idiots do this time? Can't even take care of a sleeping kid?" She tried to snort because Izumo was not worried.

"Izumo?"

She pulled the phone away from her ear and read the name just to make sure it was who she heard. "_Rin_?"

"Yeah?" The word trailed upward and she could picture his face, scrunched up and confused.

"What are you doing?" Her fingers tightened around the phone. Her right leg shuddered from crouching. Past Rin's quiet breathing she could hear other voices shouting, attempting to be heard.

"I'm uh…Izumo...?"

She didn't wait for Rin to say anything else. "_What_. I was _sleeping_. And you woke me up for what? Tell me my name? I already know it, thanks. Glad you finally learned it yourself."

He said nothing.

"You're supposed to be asleep, too." She kept her voice firm, grating, because that is who Izumo Kamiki was. Izumo looked over her shoulder to see Paku sit back in her desk chair, wide eyes watching her when she thought Izumo wasn't looking. Had she been getting up to silence the phone?

"Well I woke up. People tend to do that after sleeping so much," Rin snapped back but in a more tired manner than usual.

Izumo shifted her weight onto her left leg. Needles immediately seized her still trembling right leg. "Who's there?"

"Shima and Konekomaru. The others are downstairs doing… something?"

Good. "Go back to sleep."

"I feel touched that you care so much about my well-being," Rin said with a coarse laugh. Izumo clenched her jaw and her lips grew thin against her teeth. "But everyone's here but you. Where are you?"

"My place. I wouldn't sleep in that place again if my life depended on it," Izumo said with more bite than necessary. It was silent on the other end and Izumo wondered whether her saw through her lie because she had slept there many times when the group would pull all-nighters for cram school. And judging by the tests that were stacking up in normal life and Exorcist life, she'd find herself dozing off at the dining tables plenty more times.

He didn't call out her lie nor confirm it. They went back to the static between them. "Well if you are done wasting my time, I'm going back to sleep," she said crossly.

She wasn't. She couldn't drag the phone from her ear until she heard Rin speak again. The blow—the blow was bad that he took for her, flames or no flames. And he'd collapsed after, exhausted. Izumo thought he had died because of her.

"Izumo, wait! Are… are you hurt?"

"Of co—"

"I didn't hurt you, did I? I, I didn't mean to use the flames. I just didn't know what to do and well, I guess I should've just shouted for you to turn around but I didn't think…. That's it. I didn't think," Rin's words flew out and wavered like he was speaking at a funeral instead of on the phone with someone no more than a mile away.

At some point during his spiel, Izumo fell back so she landed a little less than what could be deemed graceful on her butt. Her left leg began the same process of pins and needles eating away at her senses. In fact, that sensation didn't stop in her leg; it spread to all over and buzzed in her mind.

She heard Paku get up from her desk. The other girl's chair squeaked as she stood and Izumo raised a numb arm to signal for her to stop. She wouldn't be able to help. She didn't even know what happened tonight. Hell, Paku didn't know the truth about Rin nor would Izumo ever let Paku know the truth about Rin. Not because Izumo wanted to protect Paku from this demon-filled world, but she wanted to protect Rin from being hurt further by anyone else.

"You didn't."

"But the flames! I—Yukio and Shura will be so disappointed. I lost control. And I overheard the others talking about you an—and you're burned," Rin said with a large haggard breath that created a buzz of static in the phone that mingled with the still present static in Izumo's head.

He cared so much for her, even with the sharpness she showed to him. It didn't make sense.

"It was the demon. It caught me off guard… a stray blast," Izumo says and it sounds like a lie. Too strained, too controlled. It wasn't though. Her shoulder was her own fault for not moving after Rin intervened. He crashed in protecting her exposed back and then she still got injured.

Izumo didn't know it was possible. She felt shittier than before.

"Iz—"

"It wasn't your damn fla-fault," she said with more conviction. She glanced over her shoulder to Paku. The other girl was back at her work, though working slowly and half turned to her. "Okay?"

There's nothing but the faint voices of the others in the background.

"I _said:_ Okay?"

There was a noncommittal noise on the other end of the line. "But—"

"Rin, I am fine. You—I don't care how fast you heal—are not. And whoever spilled about my injury—" She winced at the use of that word, hoping it didn't rile her teammate up even more. "will not be fine. I'll be back in class tomorrow with the rest of you."

"Are you sure?"

Sometimes Izumo wished Rin wasn't so stubborn, so _loyal_. Especially to her.

"Would you like me to punch you when I punch Shima to prove to you you're crying over nothing?" It was Shima, she had decided. Shima was the one who spilled about her injury when she specifically demanded them not to. And if it wasn't Shima then too bad, the boy probably had it coming for him for something else.

Rin didn't answer her directly. There was just a short almost-laugh. "I'm not crying." His voice didn't sound too sure of that though. "And I'm not some 'sleeping kid'," Rin grumbled, going full circle back to her greeting.

"And?" Izumo said sharply but the sigh on the other end told her that he caught the leniency in it as well.

"And you're not hurt because of me."

Izumo nodded despite Rin not able to see it. "Remember that."

"Promise?"

Izumo stayed quiet and watched as Paku became completely involved in her work again. Her back turned to her. Promise. Izumo couldn't help but think of the girls in grade school with their pinkies hooked together, chanting the word like it was nothing. And her promise to Paku of course.

"As long as you promise not to blame yourself anymore," Izumo said finally. "Not this time. Not next time. Never."

"But—yeah, promise. I'll try" Rin said and it wasn't a promise. He merely agreed and as much as Izumo wanted to argue, she truly felt the weight of sleep pushing down on her now. "I'm glad you're alright."

She wouldn't go as far to say she was alright. But Rin sounded alright and that was what mattered right now. The line was silent for some time before Izumo spoke again. "Go to bed." And she hung up, but not before hearing Rin's distant voice calling for her to have a good night.

Her night was better than it was before that phone call. She picked herself up off the floor and dropped her phone back in her bag.

"Everything okay?" Paku said innocuously from her desk, pencil still scratching away.

Izumo nodded. "It's good."

Paku made a pleasant hum at that news but made no move to neb at what just transpired. When Izumo glanced at her childhood friend, she noticed the small smile on her face and Izumo was positive her homework couldn't have been that enjoyable.

Izumo lay back on her bed gingerly so not to disturb her shoulder that she'd grudgingly have Shiemi check and redress tomorrow at some point. Just so it didn't look as bad to Rin. He didn't need that kind of guilt. After all, it wasn't his fault. It'd never be his fault. He didn't burn her. It was her own doing, her own mistake. But even if it had been his flames that scorched her shoulder, she'd never admit that to him.

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**I'm finding that I enjoy writing in Izumo's (and Bon's) voices. Hopefully they sound different to Rin's. And I hope this stayed in character. Until next time.**


	5. Defining Normal

It was dark by the time Yukio finally found himself back at the dorm. He sighed and dragged his hand over his face. Sometimes—a lot of the time—he wished he could have a normal life. No demons, no exorcisms, no whatever else their life had become. Because ever since Rin discovered their heritage, that was all their life really involved—being demons, related to demons, killing demons. And if Yukio admitted the truth, his life was devoid of normal even before Rin claimed his flames. Maybe that's why he got flustered and unreasonably upset when Rin slept through class and got into fights and didn't try. Because Rin was giving up. Throwing it all away. Just like Rin threw away the normal life he and Father Fujimoto spent protecting without even a second glance.

Normal. Yukio would do anything to have any sense of knowing what a life like that was. Especially on long drawn out nights like tonight. The emergency call that morning for Southern True Cross didn't go as smoothly as he thought it would—a conjecture based on the mere fact on how easy it was to leave Rin behind for once.

He loved his brother. He did. Really. But give him all the demons in Gehenna because Rin was a mission by himself fit for only a Paladin. He often wondered how their father handled Rin because more and more Yukio felt like he was losing his grip on the reigns. It wasn't like he didn't _try_. Because he did. More and more Yukio became Mr. Okumura than Yukio to his brother even outside of class and when was _that_ normal?

And he knew, Yukio _knew_, that he'd go up to their room to find Rin passed out on his bed without even a spared glance over their work due tomorrow and once again he'd be Mr. Okumura directing Rin about.

So it startled Yukio when he found their room empty, not even a suggestion of Rin under a lump of blankets or slumped over his desk drooling all over his undone homework. The bed was empty. Completely bare. Stripped down to the fitted sheet that always came undone anyway.

"Nii-san?"

Yukio sat his briefcase down on his desk. He gave another once over and found no sign of even the just as sleep-loving Kuro.

He sighed again and buried his face within his hands, pushing his glasses up his face. He never got cut any slack. First chasing after demons all day and now he had to track down his brother and force him to study for the test he was handing out. His brother who was not on the rooftop like he normally was, nor apparently on any of the other floors of the old dormitory, and not, Yukio found, in the kitchen area either.

Yukio flicked the kitchen's light off and stepped out into the dining area—that too empty except for a slight mess of food—and decided he would have to continue his search outside of the dorm because teacher or brother, Yukio was not letting Rin stay out this late.

A flash of blue light in the opposite direction, near the lounge entrance that neither of them put particularly much use to, caught his attention. It was bright against the wall like the reflections of a sudden burst of flames.

Yukio ran, hands already latching onto his handguns, pre-loaded and ready to fire at a moment's notice. What was it? A demon? Another ghoul or some other creature sent after his brother again to assassinate him? A King of Hell come to pick off the inheritor of the flames? Terrible scenarios rushed through the younger Okumura's head, each one worse and worse and by the time he was in the entry way of the lounge, guns drawn and pointed to ward off anything unnatural, he froze.

Duller light splayed across the room illuminating the occupants that were in no danger. Blankets swathed around them and pillows propped them up. His Exwire class managed to make the uninviting lounge look warm and comfortable.

"Nii-san," Yukio said loud enough to cut through the dramatic music of the movie flashing across the beat up television. He kept his expression schooled from the explosive reaction.

Popcorn spewed into the air like a volcanic eruption, complete with screams and all. It sounded predominantly high pitched despite many of the boys being the ones to react to Yukio's unexpected presence. Yukio didn't bother to turn on the light, he didn't know where the light switch was to do so, but the still playing screen lit up all their faces. At least those who hadn't ducked under the blankets that draped across all of their legs.

"Who _was_ that?" Suguro mumbled, not paying any attention to Yukio but eyeing each of his classmates. His eyes wide and glowing from the television screen. His eyes lingered on Shiemi before focusing suspiciously towards Shima.

"Y-Yukio! What are you doing here? I thought you were on a mission," Rin said, his voice still too high to register normally. Even his little coughs between words didn't clear the fright in him. Yukio ignored it for now but noted it dutifully as any sibling would for later reference.

The screen paused on a lighter image, their faces illuminated with white and blue light. Kamiki held the remote with two hands.

"I was. I would've been back earlier. It took longer than expected. What are you doing?"

"Movie marathon?" Rin said and rubbed the back of his neck, eyes flickered to the paused screen and back to Yukio.

"_Scary_ ones," Miwa said meekly next to Rin, more to himself than for Yukio to hear. Shiemi nodded from her curled up spot next to Shima.

Yukio could see that. The leaning table—the uneven legs looked to be propped up by textbooks— looked like it'd collapse any moment and had a stack of DVD cases that leaned precariously the opposite direction. He looked around the room until he saw that everyone was there. "Didn't you have something else to do today?"

Rin looked around to the others; all sharing the same hesitant looks. Shima pulled the blanket from off his head and shrugged before trying to reclaim the portion of the blanket Kamiki pulled over herself next to him. "Uh, no?"

Yukio refrained from pinching the bridge of his nose despite the sudden peak of irritation. "No homework assignments? Or a test to study for? Rin, I told you, you have to at least try."

"Uh, no. I mean, I did! It's done. At least…" Rin's tone sounded as confident as Shiemi looked, still peeking out between fingers. "I think I got it all? Right guys?" Rin twisted back around to face the others but their attention drifted elsewhere. Yukio stood there, frowning at Rin and the ditched responsibilities.

"—re's no popcorn left—" Shima pawed at the bowl that sat on its side and looked up at Miwa and Suguro.

"Well maybe if you didn't throw it—" Kamiki retaliated.

"I _didn't throw it."_

Rin held up a finger to Yukio and tossed a grin over his shoulder towards the pink haired boy. Any attention attached to Yukio was now cut to a single thread. "You totally threw it. You screamed. And you _threw_ it."

"You _squealed_," Shima accused and twisted around to point his finger up at Rin.

"Not as loud as Bon did during the slasher—"

"Well Kamiki—"

Bon's quick deflection of attention stopped short when Kamiki's knuckles grazed Shima's cheek. "Shut up, we all knew you screamed and threw it. Now go make more." Yukio did not miss the way his student seemed tenser than usual.

"Nii-san."

"You can't watch a scary movie without popcorn." Suguro nudged the other boy on the floor with his foot. "C'mon, teamwork an' all that."

"_Nii-san._"

A handful of popcorn scattered and hit not only Bon, but Rin who'd turned to tell most likely a joke with Shima as the punchline to Miwa. Shima grinned, triumphant and proud. His arm still outstretched and the slim view Yukio had of Rin's profile looked shocked. "_There_ is your popcorn." and before Yukio could even reach out for show more than an attempt to pull his brother back, Rin jumped off the couch and tackled his peer onto the floor.

Everyone at that point began shouting at one another and Yukio took several frantic steps forward. He knew that chaotic sound and had seen Rin jump people like that several times—and knew he did it countless times out of sight—but it was never a good sign. Someone would leave this with a broken rib, some slurs would be thrown his brother's way, and the night would end with Yukio patching up superficial wounds and Rin hiding the emotional ones. That was how it normally went.

It didn't follow their history of fights.

They were all laughing and jeering at one another, pulling the others into the fight by mistake and on purpose. It was like when Kuro would play with Rin's tale on a lazy afternoon—no ill intent, just fun and laughs. But it was even more natural than that. It was what Yukio witnessed growing up on the playground between a close gaggle of boys. How they'd tussle and break apart with smiles and spewing the meanest words of "Cheater!"

"We did all our work." Shiemi's quieter voice caught his attention amongst all the chaos the others threw the room into—Yukio would not be doing any of this cleaning up, he was sure of that and would have to make sure Rin realized that the next day as well. When he looked at her, her cheeks were flushed and her hands were still hovering around her face. A piece of popcorn was in her hair just like everyone else's at this point. "W-we studied all day and thought we should reward ourselves."

"Yuki, would you like to stay? We're not that far in."

Rin rolled out of the way of a pillow and hit the table. The cases of movies toppled over in a clatter of hard plastic. Yukio watched his brother's illuminated face and saw how out of breath he was from laughing. Another blindsided hit from a different pillow _did_ knock the air out of his brother. Yukio tore his gaze away and looked back at Shiemi.

"Thank you, but no thank you. I have some papers to go over." He didn't really and after the long-winded day, he deserved a break if even for the rest of the night. Maybe there wouldn't be a test tomorrow and he'd let the monsters stay in the movie for as much as he could. They deserved that at the very least.

"Are you sure?"

Yukio smiled—something not nearly as deep as Rins, or as carefree as Shima's, nor even as amused as Miwa's—and nodded. There was a slice of jealousy under the happiness he felt for his brother who laughed on the floor, still lost in that separate world of his. But he was glad Rin finally found it, even if Yukio could only observe. Because how absurd, how unnatural, would it be to act like this with the teacher? To be friends with them? It just wasn't normal.

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**Sorry for the bit-over-a-month silence, but I'm not dropping this series of one-shots in the least. Until next time, thank you for reading.**


	6. Shedding Burdens

The echo of their steps faded when they stopped in front of the not quite dead end. Rin groaned when Konekomaru turned to the rest and shook his head declaring the cramp tunnel unfit for them to travel. "We would've found the yokai by now, anyway," the monk-in-training reasoned, trying to sound pleasant.

Rin frowned and stared above the shaved head of his friend to the narrow opening. Shima babbled next to him about finally getting back to camp where food and a fire awaited them all. The tunnel _was _incredibly small, but it should be manageable for one person. Someone slight—which was everyone besides Bon. Rin sloshed forward, the feeling of waterlogged shoes so familiar in the past hour or so that he didn't wince now. He swatted away the map Shiemi and Bon consulted over in front of him—something about crossing this cave off the map and moving onto the next one tomorrow—and grabbed Konekomaru's flashlight despite having his own somewhere.

The yokai was _here_. He could sense it. This was the reason they continued on even as water collected along the floor and dripped down on them when they could have been in warm, dry clothes with hot food. It was goading him, always just out of reach. If they left now then he'd never convince the rest to return and they'd be out here forever after already wasting all day because of him or—most likely _and _instead of or—fail this lesson and continue the endangerment of the locals.

"You're still cooking, right Rin?" Shima said, more energized than he had been all day since leaving camp.

Rin just raised his hand with the flashlight to signal to hold on and continued to stare into the crevice. It was definitely just big enough to let someone his size through with hardly any room to breathe. Barely any room to keep a flashlight on hand let alone… he absently grabbed the top of the encased sword slung over his shoulder.

He couldn't just leave it. For all he knew this could be some elaborate trick for the yokai to get its hands on Kurikara. It was more on the extreme-paranoia side of the situation but it certainly wouldn't be the first nor the last time a demon tried getting the heart of Rin's flames from him. And quite honestly it had been a while since an incident occurred.

His grip tightened. He wouldn't be surprised at all.

The Old Man said not to trust anyone else with the sword, never let it out of his hands let alone out of his sight. And besides the whole Amaimon situation, he had religiously followed through with Father Fujimoto's orders because he already fucked up once and got his father killed. He couldn't fuck up again and disappoint his memory while simultaneously hurting others he considered close and those that may not even be close if worse came to worst. It became such an important job that Rin slept with it by his side, not trusting it to be an arm's length away with just Yukio nearby in the abandoned dorm.

But he was slight, his eyesight better than most, and his flames were accessible in slighter amounts even without his sword if worse came to worst. And maybe, just maybe, the Old Man was watching right now and understood. Maybe he was laughing and scolding and would be proud in the long run because Rin was putting his abilities forward for the greater good. He would exterminate the demon that threatened the locals just like Fujimoto put himself between the demons and Rin. And because Rin found people he could entrust something as important as his life with.

Rin straightened up and tossed the flashlight back to an unsuspecting Konekomaru. "It's back there, I know it," Rin said and grasped the strap running across his chest that anchored the sword to his back. He wouldn't regret this.

"Rin, we can't get through there even if it is. Shura will understand," Shiemi said.

"It's been a long day, we should all head back and regroup for tomorrow," Konekomaru said, his flashlight trained on Rin.

He shook his head. "It has to open up sometime. I'll be fine. Just stay here and get Shura if I'm not back in thirty minutes." He was vastly underestimating the time and overestimating himself, but any realistic time limit would worry the others. Before any of them could argue with him though, he pulled the sword up and off of him.

"What are you doing?" Izumo's shrill demand echoed sharply around the cave.

Rin didn't say anything, just gave what he hoped was a reassuring grin and tossed his sword towards the only people he trusted. Shima dropped his staff with a clatter in order to catch the sword with both hands safely and after the shock ran through his body, he held the encased sword protectively. Rin's shoulders relaxed seeing this action. He then waved his hand before slipping through the crevice, his friends' cries of his name following him along with creative threats for when he got back. He didn't stop. After all, he had 29 minutes until Bon would shove Kurikara up his ass for being such a stupid asshole.

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**Short but sweet. I just found the notebook where I listed ideas as they came to me. The first one was Rin trusting to leave his sword with the others.**


	7. The Draw

He had felt the shift. It felt more like a terrible snap inside him than a subtle _shift_. And at first he was conscious of the snap and shift of the tectonic plates inside him and at first he was worried that maybe they were right and maybe he did abuse—but then… but then… the flames felt so _right_. They drew him in, his conscious in and he knew everything would be okay. Comfortable like a warm blanket in the winter nights and exhilarating like a splash of ice cold water in a summer afternoon and he never felt so awake in his entire _life._

His body shifted, too. He could feel his features warp and his very essence fill up every new space, finally able to stretch out in this cramped human body. His nails formed claws and his already sharp canines grew into real fangs and his ears elongated and with it all his senses… his senses could actually sense. Like he'd been walking in a haze his whole life and finally could wake up and live and it was so, so amazing.

Why did he ever think to listen to them? This is what they wanted to take away from him. They wanted to take his life away.

His hand tightened around the hilt of Kurikara so that the newly developed claws dug into the palm of his hands. The steady trickle of blood felt reassuring, the bite of the nails sent his nerves into a frenzy for action. Every pulse that sent more blood pouring also demanded to have more blood—blood that wasn't his. When he grinned his teeth grazed his chapped lips and he licked that blood away before the wounds healed fully.

The demon was strong. Very strong. For an exorcist, but he wasn't an exorcist, was he? He was much more. His shoulders tensed and adrenaline built to hazardous levels, aching to leave him in bursts of fighting and slaying and this demon would be the perfect warm up.

It didn't back down and responded to his low growl with its very own.

He didn't know why the phrase was see red. All he saw was the brilliant blue of his flames. Of his heritage and power and the due respect he deserved. This meager demon would never see the depths of Gehenna again.

The demon moved. More of a twitch than a threat, and before he could raise his sword and skewer it, it already was hollering in pain and fell injured. Not dead, but not a fun toy to play with anymore. A shame. Such a shame. But.

Two specks in its shoulder. Two shots. Exorcist shots. Exorcists.

_Exorcists_.

He spun around to face those exorcists that stood behind him. A demon never keeps its back to an exorcist, especially this many all at once but he didn't care. He knew he could exterminate them. He knew they were no threat to a prince. He had all but forgotten about them but now…

The one sprawled across the forest floor, the one with the smoking barrel, the one who shot those bullets, the most threatening one stared back at him. Extended arm didn't even shake as the gun poised itself. Was it a warning then? A threat? For him?

Or a challenge.

His tail flicked left and right leaving a trail of flames when it moved. It felt so good not to have to keep it curled up anymore. Another grin split his lips and revealed his teeth. He swung the sword like some plaything. He wasn't scared. They knew who he was. They knew. He didn't have to say anything. Just looking at them—his eyes flickered over all of them, flickered like a flame—they scattered about around him and stared at him with wide stupid eyes.

Stupid, stupid, exorcists. Fucking dumbasses.

They were scared. Terrified. _Horrified_. Finally after all this time they showed their true faces just like he showed his. This was who he was meant to be. He raised his arms up in the glory of the attention. This was it; this was his show, his debut. Finally. Fucking _finally_.

"Rin?"

No.

"Rin, this isn't you."

It was. It was. It was always him. He wasn't—that, whoever that was before… that he was weak, but now… he was different. Better now. He took a step forward ready to enjoy the way they'd flinch at him. They way they'd back away in fear.

"Snap out of it, Okumura!"

They… they didn't?

But they…

His grin faltered. It slipped on one side and the blood-smeared lip stuck to his fang. The tension returned between his shoulders. Not the good kind, not the ready to spring kind. The bad hesitant _human_ kind. He growled and reverberations hurt his throat.

"Don't be an idiot."

The nails embedded still into the fleshy palm of his hand stung now. It made the hilt of the sword slippery and his hand turned whiter to keep a hold. He had to keep hold. He raised it, leveling it with the heart of the big one, the more threatening of the lot. His eyes still flickered, quicker now like a candle in the wind. His other arm raised to the one with the gun aimed for his forehead. He aimed his hand, ready to fire his flames in his direction at the first flinch for the trigger.

He would be the last one standing.

"You'll regret it, Rin. Don't do it."

He shook his head just barely. He could. He could do it. He could do anything. He was the ones with the grand flames, the royal flames. He was the one with the power. And they were nothing. They were disposable and—he could…he couldn't listen to them.

"Rin," it sounded hesitant. Shaky. "I know you won't." Not from fear. He hated the sound of it and his pulse flopped at the sound of it. It hurt. Both of his hands shook and after the silence that word—name? Word.—was repeated again and again and again and he had to raise his hands and with curled fingers into fists tried to cover his ears. His damn enlongated ears and sensitive hearing and their lips weren't moving, were they?

Rin. Rin. Rin.

_Were they_?

A girl stepped up. He wanted to point his sword at her, he tried and it was sloppy and shaking but he was stronger than that. He knew he was stronger. Stronger than them. All of them. Than the flames that consumed him.

His chest hurt. It throbbed and it ached and his hand stung and his mouth was dry and the flames weren't comfortable. He felt hot. He was burning. He wanted to grab his chest. He couldn't grab his chest. He couldn't uncover his other ear and he couldn't let go of the sword. That'd be bad. Or good? Bad. It'd be bad. The sword and the flames and it would make everything he felt now feel better wouldn't it?

He was going to _die_.

His routine of watching the gun and the timid-not-timid exorcists was disrupted by this foolish girl who continued to get closer. Closer. Closer. She'd be his example. Then they'd feel his power, see he was real. Not to mess with. He was him and not who they thought.

"Rin?" Her voice was small and timid but not the kind he wanted. It was small and timid and full of… full of something else.

He stepped forward and didn't know why. He didn't know why he heard a loud bang when none of the exorcists moved in front of him or why his leg hurt or why he was screaming. Two more bangs and a gurgled wail of a demon behind him. The air was filled with screaming and not just his screams, not just the screams of demons either.

And he felt the shift. It was a definite snap this time rather than a mere _shift._ But it was a shift nonetheless.

Kurikara dropped and the intense heat died down and he wasn't a dead, fried corpse. His first thought, his first sane, human thought was _I should be._ And his vision wasn't bright blue, but scorched with the imprint of the flame's tendrils like looking out the window for too long. He saw it behind his closed eyes and the tears stung his eyes and stung his lips.

His hands were slippery with warm, wet blood and he didn't want any more blood anywhere. He never wanted blood. His stomach churned and he dry heaved and tried not to cry anymore and tried not to scream despite the screaming pain in his leg. He was shot. By—by—he screwed up his eyes and focused on the physical pain because he was shot and that's all that mattered. He was shot and they would kill him now because he just proved he was an absolute monster that couldn't be trusted and he was injured and vulnerable and that's all that mattered.

He felt other hands on him. They were gentle, not rough, like they actually cared about him. They too were warm and wet with blood and he hoped it was just his blood and only his blood because if he had actually drawn some of theirs….

His thoughts still came through a filtered haze of who he was and what he had briefly become His head hurt and swam and he still felt huge but hollow huge inside despite his body being so much more confined and his power confined and he could hear that word again on repeat—no, no a name for sure. That mattered too.

Rin.

He took a deep breath. A couple more and didn't want to open his eyes as his name filled him. He told himself keeping his eyes closed would decrease the pain and maybe he got hurt some other way then. Wasn't shot by that exo—his… well, his brother. But he knew why he wanted to stay in the dark. If he kept them closed then he wouldn't have to face the fear in what used to be his friends' eyes. Because they had to be afraid. Because he fucked up and… and… it was all Rin's fault. He hadn't listened. He hadn't listened to them and their concerns and now he scared them off and would be carted off himself and oh... Oh _God_. What did he do? What did he _do_?

"Rin!"

The hands—there were more of them now—turned him over gently and they pushed his hands away from his leg. "Can you open your eyes?"

The last thing he saw was the girl, no, no, no. She had a name and she mattered. _Shiemi_. The last thing he saw was Shiemi running towards him before he closed his eyes in everything that happened.

He wanted to shake his head no and say no, he couldn't and he never would again and that he wished Yukio wouldn't have pitied him and just shot him gone and then he wouldn't have to deal with facing them now because he was a damn threat to them and then they wouldn't have to be the ones to put him down like some animal. A monster. Didn't they understand that? Why did they crowd him? Why did they-!

His eyes cracked open and through the afterimage of flames, he saw their obscured faces looking down on him. All of them—Bon, Koneko, Shima, Izumo, Shiemi, and Yukio standing above them, a bit farther off from the cluster. His eyes trained on each of them and their strained expressions with wide eyes and parted lips and… and they weren't afraid.

They looked worried.

"Rin!" And now he recognized what he couldn't place before. The tone of voice hadn't been scared when she approached—it'd been worry and maybe a bit of hope. Shiemi would be the one to hope to cure him out of anyone.

And more tears sprung to Rin's eyes because after all that they weren't even scared. Or if they were then they were great damn actor. He tried to lift his arm to run his sleeve along his nose and eyes.

"Are you okay?" It was Shiemi's voice again but she no longer looked at him as she went back to work on his injury that he'd survive from. He already knew Yukio was cultivating the lies about what happened during the mission, how to explain anything out of the ordinary and it would be his way of apologizing to Rin for shooting him. And Rin already knew that he'd accept the apology and apologize with food and with words and with actions right back because Rin knew he deserved the bullet to the knee. He deserved one to the heart, really, and wished deep down that the others _had_ been scared off from him.

"I'm sorry."

"That doesn't answer her question, Okumura," Bon said a bit too gruff for his usual voice, but it wasn't his irritated you're-an-idiot-Okumura voice either. "Answer it."

Rin closed his eyes and flexed his fingers, wiggled his tail as much as he could with his body pinning it to the ground. He took into account everything about himself with the pressure of their concerned stares. He took a deep breath and answered on the exhale. "I'm fine. I'm… I should've listened to you guys." Maybe he did abuse his powers. He relied too heavily on them and on the sword and he didn't realize how gone he had been until he was too far gone. He didn't realize the draw of potential trapped inside the sword.

Bon helped him sit up when Shiemi gave him the go ahead. Bon on one side and Izumo on the other. "We're going to carry you back to camp. Don't complain," Bon said sternly, challenging Rin to argue like he normally would but Rin felt too exhausted to do so and slurred an "I won't" together in an unmanageable mess.

They sat there though in the scorched darkness until Rin readjusted to himself more. This body still felt so foreign. It was the right one, he knew that for sure.

It was silent, not even wildlife to snap a branch or call out into the night after his little episode to scare them away for good.

"We uh, we uh know you didn't mean to. Do that, I mean. You were… you're still Rin," Konekomaru said and even though it was just a whisper, it filled the entire forest and it filled a little of the void that was Rin's psyche and soul. Rin glanced over at the boy and saw he held Kurikara and Rin flinched at the sight of the sword even with it all wrapped up in scabbard and shoulder bag and would not burst into flame and burst him into flames at any moment. It was just… he'd never gone that far before and he was… scared of himself.

All he had wanted to do was protect them. That was why he found his exposed back to all of them. His anger already boiled from their impromptu pre-mission intervention on his reliance on his flames and how they weren't a crutch for him to use and get out of studying and hard work. He laughed it off and got angry at them. And Yukio had been thrown to the ground and they were being over powered and he _only_ used his flames when in a tight situation and it was all for the good. It was all supposed to be fine. He meant to save them because his flame and sword were the only option in his tunnel vision of the fight lest they die.

Rin nodded and tried to sit up further. His tongue ran over the ridges of his teeth to test their size and sharpness before he even dared open them into a hesitant, tired smile. "Thanks."

Konekomaru smiled right back and stood up as the others helped Rin to his feet.

"I promise," he paused and winced putting too much pressure on his injured leg. "I promise it won't happen again."

Bon and Izumo strung their arms underneath Rin's and supported his back so they were his crutches.

"Yeah, yeah," Shima waved his staff flippantly like it was a casual conversation and Rin only said something stupid and sarcastic and didn't almost kill them and definitely threatened them. And then Shima grinned as well.

_They_ were his crutches. Not his flames. And Rin didn't deserve either.

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**Sorry, this semester has been stressful and busy with classwork. But I'm glad I put this piece off to post. The first version came off too robotic and so I scrapped it completely and hammered this out instead. The idea was conceived by listening to and heavily inspired by The Draw by Bastille hence the title.**

**But yeah, got an extra-long one-shot to make up for the time lapse of no updates. It's grittier but it was also real fun to write so I hope you enjoyed it. And I hope Rin temporarily losing it comes off as a plausible thing that could happen?**

**Also, to conclude this abnormally long author's note: I have another chapter all written up that I'm tweaking and will probably let sit for a bit. If any of you have any kind of ideas for this series, you are welcome to suggest them. And at some point I'll have a separate one-shot coming out that user: A Chance to Fly gave me an idea for, so if you want, keep your eyes peeled for that.**

**Thank you, and until next time.**


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